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Unhealthy workplaces exist: In extreme situations, colleagues may undermine you, bosses can ignore major human resource problems, and false accusations start to fly. Gracefully exiting tough situations is an art, and you need assistance learning the ropes. Build an action plan from information in The Episodic Career.

So what do you do if you are in a position where people underestimate you or, worse, undermine you on the job? Expert Matt Youngquist of Career Horizons advises, with some caveats, to stick things out while you think things out. “You likely shouldn’t quit a job until you have the next one lined up—unless you’re truly in an abusive situation that’s leading to depression, hostility, or a severe loss of confidence,” he says. “Additionally, of course, if a person is being asked to engage in some highly unethical behavior, that might be a time to immediately cut the cord as well.”

“But in general,” Youngquist continues, “I’d encourage a person to ‘hold out’ as long as possible and just start searching aggressively for something new, on the side, if their current assignment isn’t working out—or the company they’re with seems to be facing potential challenges.”

Below is a list of reasons Youngquist offers for holding out in a less-than-optimal job:

• Many employers today practice “unemployment discrimination” and greatly favor candidates who are currently working elsewhere over those who are “on the street” and unemployed.

• While people might not realize it, their self-confidence is usually a lot higher when they’re working somewhere and applying their skills on a daily basis, as opposed to being in the ambiguous limbo that unemployment can represent.

• Things can change fast in organizations these days, so somebody might, for example, be dealing with a bad boss—only to have that boss leave or get replaced in the near future, making things better.

• Last, and most importantly, unless you are independently wealthy and don’t have bills to pay, giving up a steady paycheck isn’t something to do unless you have almost no alternative.

The post What To Do When Your Dream Job Becomes a Nightmare appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

by Mariah Edwards-Heflin For centuries, herbal teas have been revered for their health benefits. Originating in southwest China, Tibet and Northern India, tea has long been used for its supposed medicinal and spiritual properties. Tea is now thought to possess a powerful ability to melt stubborn body fat, but studies show that although tea may […]

We’ve all been there. You’re walking down the aisles of the grocery and can’t help but notice the call outs on products. Low fat! Multigrain! Full of vitamins! How true are these labels? Courtney McCormick, Corporate Dietitian at Nutrisystem, says some might be too good to be true and encourages you to avoid these six […]

Zits? Puffy undereyes? Hair falling out? We all suffer from beauty maladies from time to time, but many over-the-counter treatments contain harmful chemicals. Here are 10 great at-home remedies. From Bio-Young: Get Younger at a Cellular and Hormonal Level.

1. Acne. Acne is, in fact, caused by the male hormones, or androgens. It is possible to lower androgenic activity in your body by taking one teaspoon of turmeric powder in water twice a day or drinking three cups of spearmint tea a day. A dab of peppermint essential oil can be applied directly to outbreaks to help dry them up, but be very careful around your eye area, because peppermint makes your eyes sting. If you do get peppermint oil in your eyes, rinse with cool water or apply a little low-fat yogurt and then rinse. Aloe vera is very effective, too—apply a thin layer to your face, massage gently, then rinse with cool water and pat dry. Pure, unsweetened cocoa powder clears acne if you take at least one tablespoon of this—you can mix it with water, milk, or juice. Cocoa powder can also be stirred into yogurt.

2. Dark circles. Dark circles are capillaries seen through the thin skin that’s under your eyes. Drinking a green juice once a day can help. Two daily teaspoons of any of the following stirred into juice or water should result in a huge improvement, too: spinach powder, chlorella powder, spirulina, or barley grass. The priority in this condition is to thicken the skin and improve its elasticity. Thirty drops of dill seed essential oil to 100 grams of coconut oil makes a perfect nightly treatment for the eye area, reducing puffiness and dark shadows thanks to dill seed’s estrogenic properties, which increase skin thickness and elasticity. The amla, gotu kola, and coconut oil treatment that I refer to a lot is great for this, too. You can also apply pure almond oil as often as you are able, but particularly at bedtime. Licorice and avocado oil can increase elastin and collagen, which makes it very effective for under-eye bags. Simmer four teaspoons of licorice powder (or 10–20 licorice tea bags) in 200 ml of avocado oil, let it cool, strain, and pat on the affected area. It’s great for your face, hair, and whole body.

3. Skin discoloration. Vitamin C and glycerin serum are very effective for evening out your complexion and fading skin discoloration. Dissolve two teaspoons of pure vitamin C (ascorbic acid) powder in 100 ml of vegetable glycerin. You can do this by adding the vitamin C powder directly to a small bottle of glycerin (I use plastic bottles and jars for safety). Shake well. Add a little water if you can see crystals of vitamin C. Use this lotion at night, on makeup-free skin. Apply all over your face, neck, hands, and any other problem area, leave on for five minutes, and then rinse off and pat your skin dry. Follow this with the amla, gotu kola, and coconut treatment. Onion lotion, prepared by blending half an onion in half a pint of water and straining the liquid, is fantastic for clarifying the skin, fading any dark spots, and making the skin youthful and radiant. Leave the lotion on for five minutes before rinsing off. The onion scent should evaporate, but if not, apply apple cider vinegar to reinforce the effects of the onion and remove the aroma. You can use the apple cider vinegar on its own, too, omitting the onion lotion. A thin layer of tomato paste is also effective. Rinse off after five minutes. A licorice and avocado oil preparation also fades skin and evens the complexion.

4. Cellulite. The easiest way to help tone up limbs and break up cellulite is to use apple cider vinegar every day as a lotion. Apply it neat and use a massage glove afterward to enhance the effect. Instant coffee and horse chestnut tincture are excellent when they are used as a lotion, too.

5. Gray hair. Melanocytes, the cells that produce hair color, are stimulated by onion, eucalyptus globulus, red palm oil, avocado oil, and lard. You can use onion juice, which you can make by blending chopped onion with water in a blender, and then straining out the bits. Store this in the refrigerator and use at night or before you shampoo your hair. If you choose eucalyptus, red palm oil, or lard, apply a thin layer and leave them as long as possible before you shampoo. Leave any of these treatments on your hair for half an hour before you shampoo.

6. Hair loss. This is easily treated with rosemary and eucalyptus globulus essential oils. Use them straight from the bottle. Apply a few drops of rosemary to your scalp and follow with a few drops of eucalyptus. Do this every night for three months for new growth!

7. Large pores. Tomato paste is excellent for reducing pore size. Apply a thin layer to your problem area, leave on for five minutes, and rinse with tepid water. Repeat up to three times a day. This is a wonderful preparation to use before bed, after removing makeup and before your night treatment. Tomato paste is anti-inflammatory, which means it shouldn’t irritate your skin, but do not use it on the delicate eye area, just in case. If you do find any discomfort, discontinue use.

8. Under-eye bags. Under-eye bags result from slack skin, muscle atrophy, and fat deposits beneath the skin. The amla, gotu kola, and coconut oil treatment mentioned earlier is brilliant for fading the area under your eyes and shrinking any swelling or bags. Use pure coconut or jojoba oil to remove eye makeup. Choose SIRT1 activators to increase collagen and elastin. Two hundred fifty grams of blueberries or other berries daily will help increase the skin’s elasticity. These fruits will also prevent excessive fat deposits on your body, including the area under your eyes. Gelatin, whey protein, pea, or brown rice protein, taken internally, increase skin thickness and muscle, and restore and support your face and body, including the delicate under-eye area. Cut animal fats from your diet, and do not use animal fats around your eyes.

9. Varicose veins. Veins bulge because they lack elastin. Elastin can be increased directly by applying 30 drops of dill seed essential oil in 100 ml of a coconut oil base on the affected area. Continue the treatment for at least three months. Bee pollen, taken at a dose of four tablespoons a day, strengthens the vein walls significantly.

10. Wrinkles on forehead and around the mouth. A thin layer of jojoba oil can be astonishingly effective for deep lines on your face and neck. It’s brilliant yet gentle enough to use around the eyes, too! Sodium lactate lotion (60 percent) can work miracles on these lines and creases as well. Apply the lotion, leave on for at least five minutes, and then rinse off.

The post The 10 Most Common Beauty Concerns—and How to Fix Them Naturally appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

According to the timeless beauty Audrey Hepburn, “Happy girls are the prettiest girls.” But what constitutes a happy girl? It turns out making smart lifestyle choices will help you look and feel younger. It’s easy to believe that it doesn’t matter how we treat our skin, that a quick trip to the dermatologist’s office can fix all of our sins. But beware: 21st century living is taking its toll, and you can’t Botox away a lifetime of abuse.

Here are some modern bad habits that are making you look old before your time.

Netflix and Chill
Too much TV and lying around can have an adverse effect on your health as well as your skin. The most recent research shows that the optimal amount of exercise for increased longevity is 150 minutes a week, with 20 to 30 of those minutes being vigorous workouts. Exercise leads to higher bone density, as well as staving off diabetes and heart disease. And that means a healthy, youthful glow for a long, long time.

Your Daily Latte
Caffeine is a diuretic, and it dries out the skin, making you look more like a prune than a young nymph. The general water guideline for adults is six to eight glasses a day. But if you’re drinking a lot of coffee, you’ll need more. Try an extra cup of water and a serving of fruit for each mug of joe.

Facebook
According to the latest research, it’s not the use of social media that causes stress, but the general awareness of the problems in other peoples’ lives that makes our frown lines grow. In other words, we are sympathetic to the pain that other people are facing, and that in turn stresses us out. And the first place stress shows up is all over our face. Be sure to take care of yourself before helping others: It’s time to close the laptop.

Donuts
If you want your skin to be smooth and bright, a lifetime of overeating sugar is one of the worst things you can do for it. Sweets can damage the collagen and elastin fibers in your skin, making it appear older than its actual age. You’ll see the effects start at age 35, and get worse over time. The good news is, it’s all reversible; use skincare products with retinol to rebuild collagen.

All-nighters
Sleep is crucial to keeping your skin looking young and radiant. Not only does a lack of shuteye induce signs of premature aging, but it also makes skin less resilient to environmental damage from UV radiation. Another side effect: poor sleepers are more likely to be obese. While good sleep can elude us in our modern world, you have to make it a priority. It’s crucial to looking and feeling good.

The post How to Break the Bad Habits That Age You Most appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

For new mothers, finding community is crucial. As beautiful and delicious as new babies may be, many women feel alienated in those early days (weeks, months) of parenthood. Longstanding ties to professional identities and friendships with non-parents are put “on hold,” and navigating the world with a little bundle of baby always in tow can be confusing.

Traditionally, women had the built-in support network of mothers, sisters, or lifelong friends who lived nearby. As more women choose to delay motherhood until later in their lives and careers, or live away from their families and hometowns, that traditional support has become less common. This is why finding, creating, or joining a mommy group is crucial.

A good mommy group will help you figure out if your baby is colicky (or just messing with you) and what that weird stain on your leggings might be. They’ll also recommend the lightest breast pump for commuting, and which stroller is best for icy sidewalks versus throwing in the back of the car. Most of all, though, a great mommy group will offer support, friendship, a cold glass of white wine at 2pm, and a comforting text back at 2am.

I found my mommy group by answering a posting on my local parenting listserv. The seven women saved me. Actually, that’s not true: We saved each other, laughing and crying all the way home.

Here is a beginner’s–even a shy beginner’s–guide to starting a group of like-minded mamas.

Start when you’re pregnant, if possible. When my group and I met for the first time, I was 20 weeks pregnant. The other women were a little further along (my daughter Clara is the youngest of the group’s babies). Getting to know each other before our lives turned upside down meant that we met as people first, before we were Official Mothers. This was especially important when we were at our most sleep-deprived and unreliable in that “fourth trimester” of our babies’ first three months. We might plan a coffee shop rendezvous for noon, but then would straggle in an hour late, stressed out. If we hadn’t already known that we were all otherwise competent, considerate, compassionate women, we might not have trusted that the group was working.

Another reason to start building community pre-Bébé: the last few months of pregnancy are not… delightful. There are all sort of weird aches and pains, fears, and anxieties. The mommies in my group were pregnant through the hottest summer on record in New York. Knowing we were not the only rashy and dehydrated pregnant ladies in the world was enormously comforting (and at that point, we were enormous). Plus nothing tastes better than an iced latte when its 96 degrees and you’re drinking with a friend who also feels like a manatee.

Don’t worry about what you may have in common other than the babies. Unless you want to.

Seriously, you don’t need to have the same professions, politics, socio-economic or marital statuses, race, or sexuality to befriend other mamas. My group started with the commonalities of babies in our bellies and about a mile radius between our apartments. My husband compared it to freshman year, when you might meet your best friend that first weekend of orientation, and still be roomies in your twenties. We were all starting new together; our lack of previous attachment to each other was freeing.

However, if the group you want to start is based on a professional, spiritual, or cultural commonality, go for it! Social media—whether Facebook, meetup.com, or a local parenting listserv—is also a great way to find or start a group. One of the strongest groups I visited in the course of writing my book was a Bodyback workout class in Northern California—all they had in common was the desire for rock-hard abs. Also remember: No matter how often you mean to meet, you are more likely to communicate via email, text, or social media. And there is truly nothing like having five people to write to at 3am when your baby just. Won’t. Go. Back. To. Sleep.

Be honest if you want the group to last. For new mothers, there is no such thing as TMI.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from women who have been unsuccessful in finding a mommy group that feels like a fit is, “People weren’t real. I felt like the only one in the room who was having a hard time.”

If you feel as if the women you’ve just met aren’t breaking the ice, do it yourself. Ask hard questions, or just tell them how you’re feeling. Worst-case scenario, you never see these women again, so no big deal. Within my group, enough of us had enough problems—postpartum anxiety or depression, financial worries, developmental delays, even divorce—that none of us felt self-conscious sharing true confessions.

But really, the day-to-day details bonded us before the big stuff even came up. And with a new baby, day-to-day is often… gross. Your engorged breasts will feel like rocks when your milk comes in, and then will squirt like geysers across the room. You’ll want to share the fascinating rainbow-colored contents of your infant’s diapers with all of your friends. And speaking of poop, how about that your own first post-birth effort might rival labor on the pain scale? Let’s not even get started on when you finally try to have sex again (two words: patience and lube). Everyone is thinking the same thing anyway.

What happens in Mommy Group stays in Mommy Group. Ugh, I guess I’m guilty of breaking this last rule, big time, because I wrote a book about my group! But: I did it with their permission, encouragement, and (most important) support. By the time I began to write our story, we were no longer in the throes of early parenthood (the babies in the book are all “big” kindergarteners now). Still, in those early days, feeling as if these were women I could trust with my fears and secrets (why does my C-section scar still hurt? Sometimes my baby looks more like my mother-in-law than I imagined possible. Am I a good mother?) was crucial.

Ultimately, any group is only as strong as its participants. Reach out, support each other, and find the love. You’ll be a better mother for it—and a better version of your post-baby self.

The post 4 Tips for Starting and Joining a Mommy Group appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

This healthy make-ahead recipe will give you a great head start on your daily meals. From The Stash Plan.

1 cup short-grain brown rice
1/4 cup wild rice
3 tablespoons plain Greek organic yogurt
3 cups water
1/2 cup broth (chicken or beef)
1 teaspoon salt
4 different-colored bell peppers
1 carrot
1 small onion
2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon olive oil

1. The night before, place rice in a glass bowl. Add yogurt and 1½ cups of water. Mix and leave on the counter overnight. (This ferments the rice so it’s easier to digest.)

2. The next day, rinse the rice in a strainer until the water runs clear. Place the rice in a 4-quart saucepan. Add broth, 2 cups water, and salt. Cook on high until the rice begins to boil, then reduce flame to low, cover, and cook for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir, then allow to cool.

3. Preheat over to 350°F. Cut off tops of peppers and core them. Wash out seeds. Mince carrot, onion, and garlic.

4. Heat olive oil in a sauté pan, then add carrot, onion, and garlic. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add brown rice, then cook for another 2 minutes, stirring constantly.

5. Stuff rice mixture evenly into peppers. Place peppers on a baking sheet and roast for 20 minutes.

6. Allow to cool, then transfer to a glass container.

The post The Stash Plan Recipe: Stuffed Peppers appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

Retirement means more free time to do the things you always wanted: pick up a new hobby, spend more time with the grandkids, golf to your heart’s content. But how do you need to adjust your spending habits to make those dreams happen? It turns out there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone. Learn how to rightsize your budget to fit your needs in How to Make Your Money Last.

I wish there were some quick rules of thumb for making retirement money decisions. Good rules exist for the young and middle-aged: live on less than you earn, increase the amount of money you save every year, stay out of debt, use tax-favored retirement accounts, and invest for the long term. All the rest is ruffles.

When you leave the workforce, however, universal maxims go out the door. Every person and couple is unique. Your financial choices depend on such things as your health, your age when you left work, whether you’re married or single, your spouse’s or partner’s age and health, whether you have a pension, how good your health insurance is, how much (or little) you’ve saved, how much planning you’ve done, whether your retirement was voluntary or forced, whether one of your kids (or a parent) needs financial help, how much debt you’re carrying, how you feel about investment risk, whether you can (or want to) work part-time, and how easy (or hard) it is to match your spending to your means.

Managing your spending is key. Nothing matters more to the financial success of your retirement. The stock market isn’t going to save you if you’re burning through money. You can search for better investments later if you want. But first, pay attention to rightsizing your life.

Rightsizing means finding that happy place where the annual income you expect for the rest of your life matches (or exceeds) your annual cost of living. That’s not always easy to do or, if you’re a big spender, to accept. But once you’ve achieved that balance—emotionally as well as materially—you will find yourself at peace. You’ll know that you can afford your life.

The post How to Rightsize Your Retirement Budget appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

FitBit’s bad year just got a whole lot worse. Amid lawsuits that the heart rate monitor mechanism on the FitBit was giving inaccurate readings, which then threw off other statistics like daily calorie burn, Fitbit‘s stock plunged almost 20% Tuesday February 23, 2016 after the company announced late Monday that sales and earnings for the […]

Do you start the day in a good mood, only to have it slink into darkness by 11 a.m.? You may have “energy traps,” patterns you’ve developed that increase the amount of stress and negativity in your life. Learn how to identify and eliminate them from your life in Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energies for Your Best Life.

An energy drain is anything that depletes your energy. For example, you might find that speaking with a specific person or taking a certain medicine on a particular day drains you of the energy you need for that day. An energy drain may be a one-time thing or it may evolve into an energy trap. Energy traps are patterns you have developed (or are developing) that take away your positive energy and mess up your daily activities.

An energy trap can also be a situationally specific pattern—for instance, maybe you take a drink of alcohol (or an energy drink) every time you have an issue that requires careful consideration. But the negative effects of these drinks are numerous and include fatigue, lack of creativity, and serious health conditions. Make yourself aware of your energy traps so you can plug these drains and keep good energy flowing.

To illustrate this, let’s look at Audrey’s energy traps. Like most of us, she has several. Hers are:

• Anger—she experiences toward her partner
• The radio
• Coffee (more than just one morning coffee, as well as an afternoon coffee break)
• The internet (checking Twitter and the Dow)
• Negative thoughts (related to timeliness)

Notice her energy use throughout the day is almost entirely what we refer to as a type A personality or left-brain stuff. This is a high-stress, draining way to go. And it can become a dangerous trap because it is energy consuming and shuts off your energy pipelines of higher mind and spirit. Notice, too, that Audrey does very little to rebuild her energy reserves. This all contributes to her fatigue and irritability and traps her there without relief. When this type of pattern snowballs, it is detrimental to your overall physical and mental health, as well as your feelings of flow and purpose.

The post Stop The Energy Drain: Find Your Traps and Banish Them appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.