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My wife feels I do not put her before others. And she’s right: I do say yes to everyone. I retired early from a successful career so I could spend more time with my wife and children. Then about 18 months ago, I began volunteering for a nonprofit and now I find myself doing everything for the men and women we serve. How can I set better boundaries to make more time for my wife and kids? – P

John O’Leary: P, thanks for your great question and impact on the community. If we are honest about it, your question is one with which we all struggle.

Several years ago I had a meeting with a successful business owner. He runs a large and growing private business with all the challenges that come with it. He’s also is married, has five children, and significant responsibilities in the community. I asked how he did it all.

The gentleman stood up, walked over the a bookshelf, brought back a simple framed picture of a hierarchy chart. He said this keeps him focused on what to do next, and what to do later.

At the very top, for him, was God. Then his wife. Below her name were the names of their five children. Then his own name. Then work, community, friends. The final line was titled “everything and everybody else.”

He said this simple personal organizational chart freed him to say “yes” to things and people who are most important and “no” to things that are less so.

Frequently in life we can sprint around, do everything for everybody, serve, impact… and discover near the end that we were leaning our ladder against the wrong wall of success. My encouragement to you is to keep serving, keep inspiring, keep living your mission, but (you knew it was coming!) say “Yes” to your bride, “YES” to your kids, and “YES” to yourself first. Far from making you selfish, it will make you even more effective in the incredibly important work you do.

The post Say Yes to What’s Most Important (By Saying No to What Isn’t) appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

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by Mariah Edwards-Heflin It’s Valentine’s Day, the holiday where all are taught to express our undying love with copious amounts of chocolates, desserts, and of course, sex. We’ve all heard that you can burn up to several hundred calories in a sex session with your boo, so who cares if we polish off those chocolates […]

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These cookies are my trademark, which is why, with all modesty, I’ve aptly named them Brian’s Famous Cakey Chocolate Chip Cookies! From Get Your Bake On.

Makes 12 cookies

Okay… so I actually have my dear, amazing mom to thank for this “famous” recipe of mine—she used to make the same dough into bar cookies, and called them Chocolate Cheevies. Whatever the name, I know I cannot even think about having a party or gathering without serving these.

2¼ cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
14 tablespoons (1 ¾ sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
¾ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
½ teaspoon pure almond extract
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup 60% cacao chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt and set aside.

In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together the butter and both sugars on medium speed until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the eggs, vanilla, and almond extract, and beat until well combined, about 1 minute. Reduce the speed to low and add the flour mixture, mixing until just combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Use a 2-inch ice cream scoop or heaping tablespoon and drop the dough about 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. Bake until the cookies are golden around the edges and set in the center, 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool on the baking sheets for 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely.

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So many online profiles, so little time. Here are 4 easy ways to categorize your date-worthy matches. From Love at First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating.

When viewing a profile, you think either (A) definitely yes, (B) OK, (C) maybe, or (D) no way. But simplicity can be deceiving. Here’s what these categories translate into:

• A list. Someone on your A list is ideal. He or she is incredibly attractive and seems to have every single quality you’re looking for.

• B list. Potential mates on this list have most of the traits you’re looking for in a date but are (or seem to be) missing a few things. They’re OK but not your top choices.

• C list. The matches on this list leave you undecided. Perhaps they’re funny but not so cute. Or they’re good-looking, but wit is lacking. Some qualities are great, and some aren’t, so you’re torn.

• D list. There’s nothing about these profiles that strikes you as attractive, and you can often make this determination rather quickly.

The post 4 Simple Ways to Assess Your Online Dating Choices appeared first on Tips on Life and Love.

Networking is the bane of many a job seeker’s existence, but it doesn’t have to be. Just think of it as a series of relationships: from schoolmates to old coworkers to that nice friend-of-a-friend you met who works at your dream company, networking just means forming and maintaining connections with people who know you best. You need people in your corner, loyal folks who will think of you when a job opens up at their office.

Here are some tips for expanding your network. Before you know it, you’ll be in a better place.

Give Compliments
Giving genuine compliments is one of the key parts of being a better communicator and networker. As Andrea Nierenberg says in her book Nonstop Networking, “When you listen to someone carefully, often they will mention something about which they are proud. Think for a moment and find a way to acknowledge the person’s achievement.” When you demonstrate in an intimate way that you are paying attention to what the person is saying, that person will remember you. Practice giving one compliment a day.

Embrace LinkedIn
Don’t knock LinkedIn; it’s a free way to maintain professional connections with others who might help you advance in your career. While it’s easy to ignore it or passively accept other people’s invitations, you should really use it to your best advantage. Think of it as a professional calling card. It’s going to be the first impression that many people have of you, so it’s worth it to invest some time and energy into making it count.

Follow up Smarter
You have 24 hours after initial meeting to follow up with a new contact. Whether it’s through sending a quick email, offering help, or connecting on LinkedIn, be sure to follow through and get it done. Remember that you’re not just forming a relationship with one person, you’re getting in touch with her whole network, too. Following up is the first step to truly widening your circle of potential contacts.

Ask for Advice
People actually like being asked for advice. It’s a great way to have a conversation with someone and learn information that could be useful for your career. Sending an email asking for advice that makes it easy for the person to respond will ensure that the communication is not ignored.

Network When You’re Happy in Your Job
My mom always said, “It’s easiest to get a job when you already have one.” This advice still holds true today. You’ll have more to offer potential networking contacts, and they’ll be more attracted to forming a relationship with you. In addition, companies want to hire top talent, and the perception is that those people are probably already gainfully employed. When you do go through the interview process, you will have more confidence and greater leverage. Nobody wants to be around, or hire, someone who is desperate.

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